Friday, June 1, 2012

Oral filter

It is true what they say.... kids say the darnedest things.  But let's face reality.  If an adult said the things the kids did it wouldn't be hilarious, we'd just comment about the fact that they had no oral filter.  That doesn't make what the kids say any less funny, just an ironic point I thought I'd make.

Speaking of darnedest things, my kids crack me up.  Now while C can't say much yet - in fact the only words he's ever spoken are mom, dad and no - he still points and says "Ah" with conviction.  We definitely know what he wants when he wants it.  But K... now he's a funny little one that's for sure!

Where do I start?  It seems so many funny things come out of his mouth so often I can hardly keep up.

Yesterday I went to our local dive shop (Eugene Skin Divers) to pick up some stuff.  Well I had K with me.  We went inside, he promptly decided to start playing hide and seek in the dry suits while I got what I needed.  Then we left.  I got him in the car and put him in his car seat and started looking over the stuff I'd ordered (cuz frankly I'd forgotten one of the items and was rediscovering my excitement over it!).  Then my cell phone rang - damn obnoxious thing that it is in life.  I got in the driver seat, got off the phone then looked at K and said "Ready to go buddy?"  His reply, "No mom.  We can't go anywhere!  I don't have my seat belt on!!"  Sure enough in my excitement at my new goodies, I'd forgotten to buckle him into his car seat.  Way to go K for reminding me!

Then the other night my wonderful son was  building with his Mega Bloks.  He loves those things.  This particular time he was building robots.  He even gave each one a job.  There was the Cupcake Robot, Ice Cream/Otter Pop Robot, Coffee Robot and Crane Robot.  Each one made or did exactly what he said it did.  Then he turns and looks at me and hubs and says, "you guys wanna see a show?"
"Sure," we reply.
"Ok then.  Lay down on the couch first."  So of course we do, because he rules our house with an iron fist.  Then he says, "now I need a curtain."  He grabs one of his blankets and holds it up blocking our view of the robots.  "Can you see 'em?"
"No baby, we can't," I replied.
"Ok Robots, Go!" he said and pulled the 'curtain' away with a flourish.  Then he ducked behind the couch.
Now, not wanting K to think we weren't paying attention, and because there was no sound at all in the family room we started making the obligatory "ah", "wow!", "ooooo" to the show.  That's when he jumps up and runs around to me.  "You guys have to be quiet! None of the ooooo's.  You see that sign over there?" Pointing to nothing in particular "it says no ooooooo's.  You can only talk quietly, no ooooo's."
Guess we got a show after all.

One day K and I are driving home from his Nana's house.  He's busily talking on his 'phone', you know the thumb and finger of his hand.  "Who you talking to baby?"
"Uncle K3.  You wanna talk to him?"
"Sure, hand me the phone."  So in an act of pure yoga bendiness, I reach behind me and grab his 'phone' and start talking to my brother.  "Hey there Uncle K3, how are you? Yeah, I'm good..."  I look in the mirror at my son and see him giving me the stink eye and he's holding out his hand - like he wants his phone back.  "What's wrong baby?"
"You're not talking on the phone."
"What do you mean, you handed it to me."
"No," with a tone that says 'you're a retard mom!', "I still have the phone in my hand."
"But you handed it to me."
Again with the retard tone, "no.  I didn't.  Here."

So you see what I mean.  If an adult had said these things we wouldn't find them hilarious. In fact anyone other then my husband and I may not find them that funny, but by God I'm so glad his oral filter hasn't grown in yet.  That kid keeps me in stitches!

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