Saturday, February 2, 2013

Grow the F*@& up? Would ya?

Yeah that's right... I just swore! Now don't get me wrong, I don't swear a lot. OK, so I swear a modicum amount; but that's not the point. I try not to drop the F-Bomb unless I'm truly, TRULY, ticked off. Now this little item I'm about to rant on just frosts my nuts, on a pretty regular basis.

Where I work, I deal with teens trying to become adults. Now, as they try and become adults, there are certain things they have to accomplish to gain that maturity. Enter high school, get their permits, get their license, start dating, have their hearts broken, rebel against their parents... you know, typical teenage achievements.

However, it seems that parents don't want them to gain some of these milestones. I do understand that one! My kids are only 5 and 2 and their achievements scare the crap out of me! For example, my oldest is starting kindergarten in September. How the hell did that happen? My two year old is potty trained and now wants to go to the bathroom by himself! I say again... WTF?!?

So I do understand wanting to keep children being just that, children. But there comes a time when as the parent you have to let go. Like letting C go off to the bathroom by himself. Like letting K ride the school bus to kindergarten.

So here's the thing that pushes my buttons... When parents refuse to let that happen. When they are helping their kids try to become adults, but doing all the work for them. How does that work? How does that teach the child to become an adult? To do things for themselves?

As the child grows there are things you have to teach them. Going poop in the potty, how to speak, how to feed themselves, and these are things you cannot do for them. So why is it that as the child gets older and there are things you teach them you can do for them, some parents just do it! They stop teaching!

If you want your child to be driving a vehicle because they are 15, doesn't that mean they should be filling out their paperwork? Talking to the employee of DMV? They are becoming an adult and will be driving a 4000 pound hunk of metal down the road. They should be able to speak for themselves.

If you want your kids to start dating, doesn't that mean they need to have the ability to speak to the opposite sex? To treat the girls or boys with respect? Parents aren't going to be with their kids 24/7 so if you don't teach them to have a voice, how are they going to communicate with out you?

When they were little you helped your child learn how to speak. You taught them language now give them the skills to use that language. By doing everything for them, you are crippling the man or woman they will become. Stop speaking for them... let them find their voice!

Let them grow up and in the process, you will do the same. It'll make you a better teacher and a better parent.