Today is my birthday. Am I happy about it? No, not really. Frankly, I'm a bit indifferent. It seems as we age things seem to matter less. You know, like aging. Of course I know I'm not old. I'm only 35, but I feel older then dirt. My kids are 4 and 2 and that makes me feel older then my years.
I think about celebrating my birthday and all I want to do is curl up in bed and not get out. Sleep all day, drink a mocha and watch movies. I, frankly, don't like celebrating my birthday. I would rather the day go by without notice. Maybe that's because my brother (younger by 18 months) teases me that I'm older then dirt. I just would rather not even recognize it.
For my 30th birthday my parents and husband wanted to throw me a huge party. I however, just wanted to ignore it. Seems no one would let me do that - and they still don't. So I told my mother NO PARTIES! I didn't want some big who ha. If they had a party for me I was leaving. I wouldn't be staying around for anything like that. In fact I was hoping to go to go to Las Vegas with my husband and some friends. Just hang out and have some grown up time. Of course this was before I had kids. My mother told me if I was pregnant she wouldn't throw me a 30th birthday party. I just laughed at her. I shouldn't have. Turns out I was 8 months pregnant for my 30th birthday. No party and No Vegas. But it was low key at home instead. It wasn't too shabby.
But if no one noticed my birthday and if no one said "Happy Birthday" that would make me sad. I woke up this morning and had half a dozen texts wishing me happy birthday and got another half dozen before the night was out. I also spent an hour reading Facebook messages that my friends and family had left for me on my timeline. Gotta be honest, other then the spaghetti dinner, those were the highlight of my day.
I know I'm a contradiction in terms. In one breath saying I'd rather it go unnoticed and in the next saying how much I enjoyed being acknowledged. It just goes to show how important birthdays really are. I guess if I'm going to leave a message about birthdays to my kids it's this:
You may feel older then dirt, but when the dust settles, the family and friends around you who celebrate with you are what keep you young. So celebrate, enjoy the day and know age is only a number. How you choose to live your life is a lot more telling then how many years you've been on this earth!
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