What the FRENCH TOAST!

So this is going to be a vent session... and hopefully a lesson will emerge. Otherwise, at least I won't have a heart attack from the rage!

This is the Holiday Season. This means that people are supposed to reflect on and appreciate what they have. And maybe just maybe give to others. Now what you're supposed to give is any number of things... help, presents, money, friendship, love, etc. You are not supposed to give other people crap!

I understand that what I do for a living isn't important. It's not even something I enjoy doing, but it's a job. I understand that some of the people in my life have jobs that are important - police officer, teacher - and that's wonderful. They can give back to the community every day.

Well let me tell you something... my job may not be important but my career is! My career is being a mom. My career is being here for my sons and taking care of them. Making sure they are safe, loved and know that their mother is here for them.

I had an important job once. A job that saved lives. I was a 9-1-1 dispatcher.  I loved that job. I could have retired at that job. However, I had to make a choice. Family or job. This is a choice a lot of women have to make. Some choose not to have a family. Some choose both. In my case I couldn't stay at the dispatch center and have a family. I never saw my husband - he worked days with weekends off and I worked graves with weekdays off. Not seeing him makes it pretty hard to have kids.

So I made the choice to leave a job that was "important" for one that certainly wasn't. But my job gave me the opportunity to have the two wonderful boys I have now and begin the career of being their mother.

Does that mean that what I do every day is less important then the rest of my family? Does that mean because I left a job that was important I am less important in the lives of my family? Sometimes I feel that's exactly what that means.

You see, maybe I shouldn't have been hurt by this, but I was. Someone posted on Facebook about how they received a tree for free for Christmas (in honor of the 26 kids in Connecticut). They went on to say how and I quote "one of my kids is a first responder, one is helping buddies put a roof on the house of a family in need and we have an elementary school teacher in the family. You get the picture."

Now there are four kids in the family and only three are mentioned. What does that say to the one left out? It tells me what I do isn't important. What I do in respect to this world is unimportant. That angers me. What I do is teach my boys whats important in life. I teach them to respect others, to care about others and to give to others when we can in any way we can.

I don't advertise when I do something for other people. It's not about the recognition. It's not about the thank yous or the kudos or the job well done. It's about teaching my children right and wrong. Teaching them to be caring individuals. But I will give you an example of what I taught them this year.

This year we donated toys to the children's pediatric unit at our local hospital. I took both boys down to the store and they got to pick out several toys they thought would be fun. We then went down and donated them. We left them at the Bank that was collecting them. The boys had fun. I had fun. It was an important lesson for them to learn. There were no kudos, props or adda boys. It is because I only work part time and can spend the rest of my time with them, that I am able to teach them these kinds of lessons.

Isn't that what this season is all about?

The Season of Giving

I have recently been confronted by my brother about the amount of "stuff" we give each other.  And by each other he means all of us (mom, dad, hubby, K, C, bro, his fiance, etc.).  He thinks that we should donate the money we would spend on "stuff".  That instead of buying for ourselves we should give the money to a good cause like Susan G. Komen or Dive For a Cure or even our local humane society or animal shelter.  I think these are all great ideas. In fact we donate to CASA every year and I'm more then happy to do that.

And while I understand his point, do we really need more stuff? I have a different point...

I don't CARE!  I love Christmas. I love giving gifts to my family. I love looking for the perfect gifts for my husband and kids. The perfect gifts for my parents and brother. I LOVE it.  I like to go shopping looking for the perfect gifts that I know they will love.  It has nothing to do with reciprocation. It has to with my joy at going out and doing that. The hunt for the perfect gifts. I also will not deprive my children of a joyful holiday.

And please note I did say gifts.  I don't give just one. I can't. This time of year is about me being able to spread joy and happiness to those around me. I find things for people and I only get to do this once a year.  I'm going to enjoy it.

Of course, as I type this I realize I may sound superficial. I mean after all who needs all those "things". But I donate old things that I don't use or wear to St. Vincent de Paul.  I have a rule in my house. If I get a new t-shirt, an old one gets put in the PJ drawer and one of those goes to the donation pile. I try and do the same with the boys toys.

I am going to start something new this year. I'm going to take the boys and buy gifts from the Giving Tree. I want them to experience buying gifts for others. Knowing that by giving these gifts they are giving someone who's in need and may not get a gift otherwise.  I'm excited for this new tradition to start in our family.

I guess my point is this.  Now while I understand and support his point, it's not for me.  I will still donate money to any number of charities, but I will not stop buying presents for my family. The Christmas season is about giving and that's exactly what I love about it!

Get out and VOTE!

Today is a very important day.  It's about getting out and voting.  Tonight this country - well divided I might add - got to vote for the next President of The United States. As we sat around the dinner table tonight and the TV played in the background we talked about the local elections as well. However, this countries most important job, Commander in Chief is what I was really interested in.

Now I'm sitting here watching the acceptance speech.  It doesn't matter anymore if you voted for President Obama  or if you voted for Governor Romney. It's been decided the people have spoken.  President Obama has been reelected.

It doesn't matter how I voted. In fact I don't share how I voted with people. That is one of the beautiful things about America... the secret ballot. You don't have to advertise who you voted for. I'm proud I voted. I did it. My voice made a difference!

I do wish Oregon still went to the voting booths like other states.  Here, everyone votes by mail. I voted weeks ago. Even if you have to wait in line 3 hours to get your voice heard or, like me, you got your voice heard 3 weeks in advance... it's worth it. It's important. It's your civic duty.

How did the local folks do? Peter DeFazio was reelected. Kate Brown remains our Secretary of State. Looks like Betty Taylor got reelected as Eugene city councilor.
Local measures? Bethel School District got their money. Springfield Public Safety got their money. Oregonians said no to a Private Casino in Portland.  See I paid attention to more then just the Presidential election. Voting is about more then just the CEO of the country. It's about the little city councilors too.

After dinner we were sitting on the couch watching the results come in and I called K over to me. I felt so blessed to be able to talk to him about what was going on. How important this evening was in American history. We elected the 44th President of The United States. To be honest, I don't think he got it... he's only 4. But it's never to early to talk about how voting is an essential American right. He looked at me like I was crazy, but he asked questions and said it was cool.

And you know what, he's right. It IS cool! I voted. I hope you did too. It's downright American! This is the Greatest Nation on Earth. God Bless these United States!

Older then dirt... ok, not really but come on...

Today is my birthday. Am I happy about it? No, not really. Frankly, I'm a bit indifferent. It seems as we age things seem to matter less. You know, like aging. Of course I know I'm not old. I'm only 35, but I feel older then dirt. My kids are 4 and 2 and that makes me feel older then my years.

I think about celebrating my birthday and all I want to do is curl up in bed and not get out. Sleep all day, drink a mocha and watch movies. I, frankly, don't like celebrating my birthday. I would rather the day go by without notice. Maybe that's because my brother (younger by 18 months) teases me that I'm older then dirt. I just would rather not even recognize it.

For my 30th birthday my parents and husband wanted to throw me a huge party. I however, just wanted to ignore it. Seems no one would let me do that - and they still don't. So I told my mother NO PARTIES! I didn't want some big who ha. If they had a party for me I was leaving. I wouldn't be staying around for anything like that. In fact I was hoping to go to go to Las Vegas with my husband and some friends. Just hang out and have some grown up time. Of course this was before I had kids. My mother told me if I was pregnant she wouldn't throw me a 30th birthday party. I just laughed at her. I shouldn't have. Turns out I was 8 months pregnant for my 30th birthday. No party and No Vegas. But it was low key at home instead. It wasn't too shabby.

But if no one noticed my birthday and if no one said "Happy Birthday" that would make me sad. I woke up this morning and had half a dozen texts wishing me happy birthday and got another half dozen before the night was out. I also spent an hour reading Facebook messages that my friends and family had left for me on my timeline. Gotta be honest, other then the spaghetti dinner, those were the highlight of my day.

I know I'm a contradiction in terms. In one breath saying I'd rather it go unnoticed and in the next saying how much I enjoyed being acknowledged. It just goes to show how important birthdays really are. I guess if I'm going to leave a message about birthdays to my kids it's this:

You may feel older then dirt, but when the dust settles, the family and friends around you who celebrate with you are what keep you young. So celebrate, enjoy the day and know age is only a number. How you choose to live your life is a lot more telling then how many years you've been on this earth!

Trick-or-Treat whore? I think not.

That's right.  Tonight is Halloween. It's a wonderful night and I love dressing up like a crazy Bronco fan and taking the kiddos out.  However, if when my kids get bigger, if they act or dress the way some of those kids did tonight... I will kill them. No ifs, ands or butts.  I will kill them.

I'm talking about the young girls that dress up like hookers. The young boys who don't even put effort into dressing up. The kids who are old enough to drive door to door. The kids that when you open the door say, "Give me some candy!"

First of all, lets address the clothing. Today my kids dressed as astronauts.  They were so cute with their little orange jump suits.  Every house we went to, the people knew exactly what my kids were dressed as.  There was NO question.  Last year, they were dragons.  These are costumes that kids should wear on Halloween.

As we left my brothers house we saw to young girls walking down the street.  They were wearing fish net stalkings and their skirts were so high you could see their cheekers. That's right, their butt cheeks.  REALLY?!? Just because it's Halloween and you can dress up, at least wear some clothes.  Now don't get me wrong.  I own fishnet stalkings and I wear them to work.  But I wear them with skirts to my knee and boots.  Not 6 inch heels and boy shorts.  PLEASE!

My kids saw them and K said "they're not scary at all... What are they supposed to be anyway?"
I was stymied.  What do I say, hookers?  How do I explain that to a 4 year old? My husband - ever the one with quick wit - replied "college girls..."
K just said, "ah... ok..."

That's what I'm talking about.  Really? Since when does hooker clothes equal a Halloween costume? Apparently, I'm too old for this.

Second let's talk about the demand for candy.  That's right... Demand.  Since when is it your right to come to my house and have me give you candy. Isn't it something I'm choosing to do for you? Something that I'm doing for you as a kindness?

If I hear one more kid going up, ringing the bell - over and over again until someone answers, or banging on the door repeatedly then demand candy when the door opens I'm gonna pop them upside the head.  I know if some teen had come up to my door and demanded candy they would have got the... "I'm sorry you're too old to be trick-or-treating and I'm out of candy..."  Really?!?

Also just a side note, but if you can drive to the neighborhood you're going trick-or-treating in... YOU ARE TOO OLD!  Go to a party with your friends. Have friends over and play games. Go to a friends house and watch some old school horror movies.  But for the love of GOD, don't go out and ask people for candy.  Trick-or-treating is for small kids, not you. Get a job and go buy yourself some candy!

I guess its all a matter of youthful teenage stupidity.  But God help my children if I find out when they are teens that they act this stupid.  They will be one hot mess when I'm done with them.  I'm just sayin.

Say HELLO! I'm bat shit crazy!

I started this blog a while ago.  As kind of a way to keep track of things I think that are important for my kids to know in the future.  A way for me to tell them things, just in case I'm not here to tell them later.  You never know what could happen to you tomorrow.  So I decided to reach out and say "HELLO!" to the world.

Will my blog be read? I dunno.  Will it matter to me if the only ones that ever read this are my kids? Yeah. I want this to be helpful to more then just my kids. I want this to be helpful to others as well. Will I tell my kids, family and friends I'm writing this? Not yet. I don't know how I'll do.  I'm not sure I'm going to keep this up. But then again, I just might. At that point I'll tell them.  For now, it's just me and the millions of people out there that read blogs. Or then again, back to the first question, maybe just me.

I don't get to write this blog every day.  I'm a busy mother of two toddlers and a pain in the butt dog and I have a husband I have to help along the way.  I love my family, my mother and father live near by, as do my in laws. My brother just moved home from Alaska. My whole family is here and it's incredible. I love them all. It makes my life fuller.

It seems to me, as I sit here late at night writing, that my life is pretty awesome. My kids are fantastic, even when they're driving me bat shit crazy. My husband loves me, doesn't cheat on me and provides for our family, even when he's driving me bat shit crazy. My parents and brother are alive and well... even when they too drive me bat shit crazy. It makes me wonder if there are perfect families out there.  I doubt it.  Those that think they are are full of crap!  No life is perfect. Awesome yes, but perfect no.

Are there things in life I would change? Sure, who wouldn't change things in their life for the better. But as I sit here tonight, my husband snoring peacefully on the couch beside me, I realize I love my life and I wouldn't change the choices I've made along the way for anything.  Those choices, good and bad, made me who I am. Those choices are the reason I have the husband I do and the kiddos I do.  Even though they make me bat shit crazy on a daily basis.  I just have to figure out how to clean up the guano and move to the next day... And shout "HELLO!" to the world!

Loved ones...

I know it's been a while, I've been busy.  But recently I've discovered exactly what "Loved Ones" means.  Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandparents, etc. However, our dogs are also our Loved Ones.

My lovely dog Mulder is 11 years old. She is my first baby and my only girl.  When she dies I will be the only girl in a family full of boys.  She has some medical issues and it seems she is deteriorating fast.  She has spondilosis of the spine and degenerative nerve disorder of the spine.  She is having trouble walking. Trouble standing. Trouble being a dog.

Tonight we went and bought her a wheelchair.  We are going to put it on her tomorrow and see how she does with it.  This is going to change her life and her routines and it's going to change our lives and how we treat her.  I'm not sure yet how, but I know it.

Now we bought this wheelchair used and cheap compared to its new price. Don't get me wrong.  I would have paid twice it's value if I knew for sure it would work for her.  I just don't know yet. Only time will tell. It's like when the vet told me she could have this degenerative nerve disorder.  The only way to know for sure is by a very expensive test (thousands of dollars).  Sure I'd pay it, but would it make a difference for her? The answer was a resounding NO! If she has it (and I'm sure she does) there is nothing they could do for her knowing or not.  So why on earth would I pay that money. If I knew there was a surgery out there that would fix her and give her a longer life, I'd do it despite the cost.

That's what we do for our Loved Ones.  We love them and do anything for them. My dog, my Mulder-Roo is one of the most important people in my lives.  She's kept me sane. She's comforted me when I was sad. She's comforted my children when they were sick. I remember when we brought her home. I remember staying up worried about her because I thought she had a fever and she was just a puppy sleeping and being warm. I remember my fun loving, gregarious puppy and now I have my old and loving dog who would still do anything for me.

Now I recognize that dogs are not our kids. I know that dogs are not people and there are only certain extents we can go to for them. But I would do anything for my baby girl. Just like I would do anything for my baby boys. I just hope that I can help her feel better with this wheelchair and her meds.

Because that's what we do for Loved Ones.  Anything we can. Be it man or beast we love.